My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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