Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
