giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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