i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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