OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
The best revenge is premature balding
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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