Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
