somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
