cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize