I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
she smelled like a LAN party
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
He felt like a one man threesome
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Come on in and take your pants off
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