I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Watching her eat just hurts me
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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