i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
