Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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