I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
