so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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