You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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