Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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