We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
