Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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