I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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