my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm sobbing to NWA
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
