I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
