once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize