your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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