the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
