His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
