I think i peed on brittanys purse
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
