margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I can't turn off my feet"
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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