Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I looked at my own cervix.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
