I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
