Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
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I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
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As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize