PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
