she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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