Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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