I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
