he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
