my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
