I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
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bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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