i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
