I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
