you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Randomize
