Screwed.edu
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
