i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
