hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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