dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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