Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
