My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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