meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
