Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
