i think my tv is drunk
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
