how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
