Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
