whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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