He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
