About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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