we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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