What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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