first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
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he confused my yawn for an orgasm
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
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At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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