He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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