The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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