I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Dicks are not precious.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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