Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
