after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
