Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Randomize
