He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
