Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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