The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
