butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
