And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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