in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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