did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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