yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
